Customs officer, Lisbon Airport, to Terry, sternly: What is the purpose of your visit? Terry: To find the best pasteis de nata in Lisbon. Customs officer: Here, I'll write down the address, these are the best.
Time: early 2006. Place: LAX. I'd been coming to and from the US for a few years to see my partner then resident in New York, never staying longer than the 3 month tourist visa, so I should have known better than ...
Guy at Immigration booth, after having examined my passport: Can you show me your return ticket please?
Me (smiling cheerfully): I'm not returning directly to Australia. I'm going to meet a friend in Europe in two months time.
Him: Okay. Can I see your ticket to Europe then?
Me: Oh, I haven't booked that yet. We're going to make all the bookings in the next few weeks.
Him: (silently stares at me)
Me (realisation dawning): I haven't thought this through properly, have I?
And the Immigration guy, thank all the heavens, SMILED. Yes, he questioned me, politely but thoroughly, for the next ten minutes, while I stayed standing there at the booth. I answered every question carefully, earnestly, and with absolute truth. And then he said: 'I'm going to give you a three month visa. Do. Not. Overstay.'
Me: 'I won't, I won't. Thank you thank you thank you.'
When I'd got my bags, I called my partner in NYC. He's a very restrained person, but even he was shocked at the bungle I'd made, and at my incredible good luck with that particular immigration guy. 'Do you realise he could have had you locked up until you were deported, never to return to the US again?'
Yes, I said humbly, I realise that. My hands were still shaking. Even thinking about it 16 years later, I'm still astounded by my stupidity, and my good fortune.
That is such a great story, Kate. You handled it extremely well in the circumstances! A bit of humour never goes astray. Those jobs must be so tedious.
I can imagine many of us frequent travellers have had some moments entering the USA. Before I had a green card for the US, I had a multiple entry, to get this I had to prove, via a lawyer that I did not intend to stay and look for work.
Once on entry LAX, I was questioned at length and explained that I had my own business in Australia, Hairdressing salon. Travelling often through the US to Europe, was asked how did I support myself travelling so much. Why did I travel so much. and also twice transiting through to Mexico via LAX, why was I going to Mexico.
Interesting I did not have any problems coming into US via Kennedy or La Guardia.
I have some Italian friends who transiting through LAX from Tahiti, their connecting flight was cancelled and they were put in a "holding room for 10 hours, not very happy folk.
Travel well, take all the advise, stay calm and humble, and stay safe.
Like you I always have my heart in my mouth but I have sometimes also found that it pays to see a human first.
I remember going to Vietnam on holiday in 1994 when British visitors (as I was at the time :-)) were new. Vietnamese border guards had a reputation for being difficult. My aging passport kept them a long time (possibly because it had a LOT of stamps) but it was the photo page where they dwelled. Trying to calm my own paranoia as much as anything I commented deprecatingly that it was a very old photo and I was much older now. They laughed, said 'no still the same' and waved me through. It's always been a precious moment of human connection for me: that for a moment we weren't a Western tourist and a border guard (likely to have impeccable Communist credentials) just two people acknowledging how unflattering passport photos are.
It wouldn't work everywhere but I think the reason it worked is the one you touched on in your article. Seeing the world from their point of view helps.
You've reminded me, Carolyn, of another point to make. Our passports need to be pristine. I know people who have been turned away for creased or loose pages. And make sure your passport has at least 6 months validity.
Punchy pithy post Lee! Sport takes precedence over virtually everything in the public arenas of this country and Mr Joke- ovic , well, are we not a laughing stock again! - a memory of my early tours - - - In my early years of touring throughout Europe , I often got stopped by customs officials , my attempts at butching it up , pointless with red nail polish flashing in their faces, didn’t help. I remember I was interrogated in those creepy little rooms a couple of times most notably in Amsterdam , where the stern customs women opened my luggage and my Jenny Bannister mermaids costume swam out , what are you doing with this , I am looking for our missing prime minister Harold Holt who was lost at sea, perhaps he made it across the herring pond I said , she was not amused and held us, David Evans my accompanist , his mother Meryl ,her first time on the continent and this naughty mermaid McKew for quite a number of hours , but it was all worth it Amsterdam loved my mermaid!
The border between the US andCanada was for all my years growing up in the US, not much of a border at all. Flying into Montreal, some years ago with business acquaintances who were all Dutch and working for the same pharmaceutical manufacturing company, the woman next to me in line (when asked) said we were all working together on "drugs." Well that immediately got us all into hot water and pulled out of line and sent to holding areas for hours. It was a language issue and I had a hard time explaining to the customs official that interviewed me that we were not drug dealers, coming into Canada for an imagined world wide drug dealer conference! When I broke into my truly awful French from university days (not at all like your impeccable French, Lee) I did manage to break some ice so it ended in a revelation of some sort and our release.
Customs officer, Lisbon Airport, to Terry, sternly: What is the purpose of your visit? Terry: To find the best pasteis de nata in Lisbon. Customs officer: Here, I'll write down the address, these are the best.
Oh, I love that story so much. And it's true, if you humanise your visit - especially if it appeals to national pride - you're in.
Such great advice.
Excellent column, Lee. Always, always be nice to the people at Customs!
Time: early 2006. Place: LAX. I'd been coming to and from the US for a few years to see my partner then resident in New York, never staying longer than the 3 month tourist visa, so I should have known better than ...
Guy at Immigration booth, after having examined my passport: Can you show me your return ticket please?
Me (smiling cheerfully): I'm not returning directly to Australia. I'm going to meet a friend in Europe in two months time.
Him: Okay. Can I see your ticket to Europe then?
Me: Oh, I haven't booked that yet. We're going to make all the bookings in the next few weeks.
Him: (silently stares at me)
Me (realisation dawning): I haven't thought this through properly, have I?
And the Immigration guy, thank all the heavens, SMILED. Yes, he questioned me, politely but thoroughly, for the next ten minutes, while I stayed standing there at the booth. I answered every question carefully, earnestly, and with absolute truth. And then he said: 'I'm going to give you a three month visa. Do. Not. Overstay.'
Me: 'I won't, I won't. Thank you thank you thank you.'
When I'd got my bags, I called my partner in NYC. He's a very restrained person, but even he was shocked at the bungle I'd made, and at my incredible good luck with that particular immigration guy. 'Do you realise he could have had you locked up until you were deported, never to return to the US again?'
Yes, I said humbly, I realise that. My hands were still shaking. Even thinking about it 16 years later, I'm still astounded by my stupidity, and my good fortune.
That is such a great story, Kate. You handled it extremely well in the circumstances! A bit of humour never goes astray. Those jobs must be so tedious.
Great as always. Thanks Lee.
I can imagine many of us frequent travellers have had some moments entering the USA. Before I had a green card for the US, I had a multiple entry, to get this I had to prove, via a lawyer that I did not intend to stay and look for work.
Once on entry LAX, I was questioned at length and explained that I had my own business in Australia, Hairdressing salon. Travelling often through the US to Europe, was asked how did I support myself travelling so much. Why did I travel so much. and also twice transiting through to Mexico via LAX, why was I going to Mexico.
Interesting I did not have any problems coming into US via Kennedy or La Guardia.
I have some Italian friends who transiting through LAX from Tahiti, their connecting flight was cancelled and they were put in a "holding room for 10 hours, not very happy folk.
Travel well, take all the advise, stay calm and humble, and stay safe.
Good advice John. And, yes, LAX was always tougher than New York. Honolulu was also bad from memory.
Some super practical tips here Lee.
Like you I always have my heart in my mouth but I have sometimes also found that it pays to see a human first.
I remember going to Vietnam on holiday in 1994 when British visitors (as I was at the time :-)) were new. Vietnamese border guards had a reputation for being difficult. My aging passport kept them a long time (possibly because it had a LOT of stamps) but it was the photo page where they dwelled. Trying to calm my own paranoia as much as anything I commented deprecatingly that it was a very old photo and I was much older now. They laughed, said 'no still the same' and waved me through. It's always been a precious moment of human connection for me: that for a moment we weren't a Western tourist and a border guard (likely to have impeccable Communist credentials) just two people acknowledging how unflattering passport photos are.
It wouldn't work everywhere but I think the reason it worked is the one you touched on in your article. Seeing the world from their point of view helps.
You've reminded me, Carolyn, of another point to make. Our passports need to be pristine. I know people who have been turned away for creased or loose pages. And make sure your passport has at least 6 months validity.
A very good read and advice, particularly love the movie title alert.😂
Thanks Lesley. No doubt someone is thinking of it for TV now.
Punchy pithy post Lee! Sport takes precedence over virtually everything in the public arenas of this country and Mr Joke- ovic , well, are we not a laughing stock again! - a memory of my early tours - - - In my early years of touring throughout Europe , I often got stopped by customs officials , my attempts at butching it up , pointless with red nail polish flashing in their faces, didn’t help. I remember I was interrogated in those creepy little rooms a couple of times most notably in Amsterdam , where the stern customs women opened my luggage and my Jenny Bannister mermaids costume swam out , what are you doing with this , I am looking for our missing prime minister Harold Holt who was lost at sea, perhaps he made it across the herring pond I said , she was not amused and held us, David Evans my accompanist , his mother Meryl ,her first time on the continent and this naughty mermaid McKew for quite a number of hours , but it was all worth it Amsterdam loved my mermaid!
I'm sure Sir Noel would have handled it with aplomb.
Ha , Ha but Sir Noel was never a mermaid! Timx
The border between the US andCanada was for all my years growing up in the US, not much of a border at all. Flying into Montreal, some years ago with business acquaintances who were all Dutch and working for the same pharmaceutical manufacturing company, the woman next to me in line (when asked) said we were all working together on "drugs." Well that immediately got us all into hot water and pulled out of line and sent to holding areas for hours. It was a language issue and I had a hard time explaining to the customs official that interviewed me that we were not drug dealers, coming into Canada for an imagined world wide drug dealer conference! When I broke into my truly awful French from university days (not at all like your impeccable French, Lee) I did manage to break some ice so it ended in a revelation of some sort and our release.
That certainly was a close call, Vered. Attempting French always helps. And (PS) my French is almost non-existent these days. I'm out of practice!
Yet another excellent post. The girls and I experienced this nightmare at JFK amongst people handcuffed to their seats. Lived to tell the tale.
Ugh. It can happen to any of us.